Conversations with old friends:

We haven't seen each other since we were kids but we picked up like old times. I present to you, two humorous bits from that conversation:

Him: So your parents died and you became an atheist-vegan-alcoholic?

Me: ...yes

Me: Architecture? Didn't you always say you were going to be the pilot of the Enterprise? What happened, you didn't score well-enough on the Starfleet entrance exam? How's that dream going?

Him: I expect it's going as well as your marriage to Robin Hood.

Me: Touche, sir, touche.

And now you know what I was like as a child: a Jesus-lovin', drug-free, omnivorous (though a picky eater), and hopelessly in love with Robin Hood. Good times.