today is brought to you by Paranoia

not known for my great cinematic choices, I watched "The Trial of Billy Jack" back to back with a documentary on Waco ("Waco: Rules of Engagement"). Now I am even more convinced of the corruption of those in power and am five seconds from calling all my friends to march on Washington. Or move to a compound and become a crazy-hippie-hermit (but let's be honest, both of these movies show how that would end...)

Is there a way to be peaceable in the modern world? A way for abuses of power to not exist? For people to stop them? (Keep in mind all of this is coming from me, a believer in nonviolence who loves comics... and hales from Welsh ancestors whose national anthem says its the land of warriors & poets...)

Fairly depressed and yet fired up to change the world. And make some black-eyed-peas for NYE.

obligatory dollhouse post

How swan songy was tonight's DH? Shout outs to loyal fans all over the place... 'suite in the Hyperion' (niiice, Angel), Adele's little 'through suffering we will meet the real her' speech (oh Shan Yu from the Firefly Verse, you're my fav fictional evil warrior poet). Even Echo says they need to 'cut the fish off at the head' just like in Dr. Horrible (the fish rots from the head. we need to cut off the head... of humanity? ... it's not a perfect plan). And Victor = Super Soldier, totally = Riley Finn of Buffy. ... So basically the Whedon detector was flashing all over the place.

I'm really digging the way everything is coming together. It's crazy strong writing and acting.

Random note: did anybody else think X-men's Hive Mind when it came to the soldier group-think? Maybe I'm just too into the Stepford Cuckoos.

In the end, we have a story that's good. A solid second season. As long as stuff gets wrapped I'm gonna feel satisfied. A little sorry that it had to go, but who are we kidding, from the beginning it didn't look good. DH in its essence is an uncomfortable show full of morally ambiguous situations and a handful of characters with no personality whatsoever. Joss went to the darkplace hard and it was amazing. DH made me think, which I hope was the point of it all along, to get people thinking about the mind/soul/spirit/evil corporations/technological advances/personality, etc.

Dollhouse is just plain good people.

the return of Alpha (sans medicinal carrots)

alpha = joss' very own Joker.

love, alpha? really? i guess if joss thinks it keeps spaceships aloft...

screw the wacky sidekick, alan t must be cast as a villain more often.

in which i get girly

by which i mean, bitchy and like a 12-year-old girl...

fact: i need to unfriend my ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend. it's just trouble. and damn you mutual friends as well...

feeling all pouty now--like everyone i decide to hate needs to go to antarctica asap. they certainly as hell cannot remain in the same timezone as me. that's just asking for trouble.

another thing which really really bothers me: everyone says they are good together. everyone says they are sooo cute. and i don't want him back, but i sure as hell don't want him happy. i mean he was crazy-evil-bastard-abusive-guy to me. and i'm still recovering from stuff he said and did to me. and when someone is that crappy to you and then goes and is that nice to someone else, you can't help but wonder is it me? I know it's not true. I know it's impossible that I made him hit me/psychologically abuse me. I can't believe it was because of me that he hurt me. It had to be something within him. But why did it only come out around me (and a little with the girl he dated briefly before me)?

the whole thing just makes me sick. and i don't think about it a lot, but sometimes it comes up cos of facebk related shit, and i've kept calm, but it's rough. when someone fucks with your mind you don't just get over it. I'm still angry. I still can't wish him anything good. I'm tired of the hate I carry around, but it's going to be a long time until I can inch forward toward releasing this.

not to over blog but...

Enver as topher? genius. close your eyes and it totally sounds like fran kranz.

and Bennett/summer glau? creepy as shit. and maybe i'm reading too much into all this but where she turns off the camera? total call back to river's academy vids. and her general awkwardness? keeps striking me as oh so river. maybe that's just her normal speaking voice however...

more dollhouse talk

okay, how many wesley/faith fanfics did this episode just birth? note to tv producers in general: alexis denisof sans shirt--good stuff.

second: mo tancheron's cameo? fab. totally did numfar's dance of joy. i was that whedon-licious-happy. kilo... adorable. i mean i know she was on it cos of the press releases, but such a yay moment. and soon enough summer glau will show up and my friday night will be complete.

and btw, ballard's line: "nobody ever really leaves the dollhouse, do they?" ugh. knife to the soul. so good, joss, so good.

dying breaths of the DH

Do describe Dollhouse and/or watch A.Denisof's character rip Rossum a new one only to find yourself defending the Dollhouse? Scary.

Maybe it's just me. But Madeliene/Mellie/November's testimony seems like a 'betrayl.' Now I know DH is evil. I'm not for human trafficking by any stretch, but she's not as sympathetic as Sierra/Priya. Mellie may not have not have known what was going to happen to her, but she was heartbroken and made a choice. And BTW got lucky because she only served three of her five years, and big plus--got set up with money and a whole new life after she got out. She seemed happy. And now she's all with the senator and I'm all 'sonofabitch!'

in which i am filled with cranky & indesicion

# 4 reason while i will miss Eastwick: playing 'guess the set.' because it's filmed the gilmore girls' stars hollow. sigh.

november is my favorite month (sans thanksgiving) but i've been filled with angst usually reserved for my birthday. first because i've got a houseguest with an undetermined stay-length (we're good friends... i love her, but as an introvert with a studio apt... oy).

second because i'm sTiLl trying to decide whether or not to go back to tx for the holidays. It makes sense--it's a little thing, there are non-family people i wouldn't mind seeing but it doesn't feel right. I should make a stand. It wouldn't be good for me to go back. I need to stay and work on my thesis, and watch effing Dr. Who on BBCA. Psychologically it might be for the best to stay here. But two other families (one in MI, one in VA) have also invited me over. And I feel like I can't go there without insulting my family. Ugh. I keep going back and forth on this issue but need to make up my mind because it's effing Dec. I need to buy tickets or mail presents. Sigh sigh sigh. True, i wouldn't stay long in TX... but my first alone Xmas? Possibly with snow?? Wacky fun peeps.